Why do we think critically of ourselves?
Is it a key instinct of being human? Were we born with it?
Could it be considered a waste of time.
Could it be viewed as bad for our health.
Let’s take a look at why we do this and whether it serves us well… or not.
We always look to grow and improve and as humans, we have that ability for self-reflection. It can serve several developmental purposes. Though it can also become unhelpful, even destructive, if allowed to turn into harsh self-criticism.
Are we able to separate when it’s useful and when it’s not?
How do we separate a healthy view of who and where we are in our lives – and a negative self destructive thinking? Is it built in as part of our evolution or learned behaviour as we grow?
A while back I wrote a blog on – What do you think when you see yourself in an image?
There are quite a few parallels with this blog and my previous scribblings, if you want to dip into that blog again.
Our Growth and improvement:
Things we can use our self observation and evaluation for:
- Learning from mistakes
- Adjusting our behaviour
- Social survival
- Repair conflicts
- Maintain status and belonging
Some of these things we will do subconsciously. We wouldn’t change or improve much without some way of giving ourselves feedback. We’ve evolved to understand how we are perceived by others and whether we get that perception right or not. It can be quite complex.
But I’ve not referred to being critical in the any of above, so let’s consider it as constructive behaviour and thinking.
When does is turn against us and start being harmful?
A few things that as a photographer I hear and see in people I’m working with:
- Not being good enough
- Comparison with others
- Comparisons with perfection
- Fear of not fitting in with our peers
- Self criticism of identity
- Fear of rejection
We’re really launching an attack on ourselves with these thoughts. We always look to lay ‘blame’ towards self when things don’t go according to plan or, perceived as not good enough. These thoughts are really not who we are, but can become ingrained, as the normal way to react.
They really can become a bad habit. Often caused by a lack of self confidence and self belief. But we don’t have to let go of our values, by giving ourselves an easier time… by forgiving ourselves. It doesn’t stop us, deciding to choose differently next time.
I’m adding links to two other blogs, written a while ago, that again have parallels to this subject:
Social Media, Advertising and our self esteem.
If someone judges you, do we blindly believe them or make our own decisions according to what they’ve said? There is a very true phrase, that we cannot change or control what others say to us. But we do have control over how we react.
Can we learn to have a better view of who we are ?
Yes we can definitely cultivate this as part of our thinking. Blame doesn’t have to be dished out every time something goes wrong. As I mentioned, learning to tell ourselves that we can choose differently next time is a great strength to develop.
Is it something you’ve ever given thought to?
After writing this, it’s a subject that could have had pages and pages written on it – but I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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