Tag Archives: body image

“The photos got inside my head!”

The photos got inside my head!

Yes this is something I heard very recently – “the photos got inside my head”! So my last blog was on what we think of ourselves when we look in the mirror, or see ourselves in a photograph. Following on from this, I heard an interesting story recently from a lady I know.

She and her family went on a holiday cruise earlier in the year. There were photograph opportunities organised for families and guests on board. In no uncertain terms, she relayed how it was the worst photoshoot experience she had ever had, and without all the detail, she hadn’t enjoyed the experience and hated the results.

BUT my biggest concern was when she then said that the photographs ‘got inside my head’ and made her seriously doubt about how she looked. On their return, she went on a strict diet (because of how she felt) and did a family shoot at home using her phone and tripod. This was to re-assure herself that she didn’t look quite so bad.

Now I will often tell people, they may from time to time see images of themselves they’re not keen on, but it DOESN’T mean you can’t take a good one. This is to help them understand that often there are reasons and elements in a photograph that were outside their responsibility or control.

In a very early blog, I questioned the common saying ‘the camera never lies’. I still say this saying is not strictly true. Bear this in mind as you read…

Her story really troubled me and I found myself with all sorts of questions.

Did the shipping company use professional photographers?
How had they got the lights set?
Had they got the right angles for people?
Importantly, did the families and guests have an enjoyable experience?

Perhaps the photographers were rushed themselves if they had a lot of people to get through? However ‘conveyer belt’ photography is rarely going to achieve good results. If they were rushed, there was not going to be much opportunity for people to have a good experience.

From the information I was given the results of the images were far from flattering or accurate. However, whatever the photographers did or didn’t get right, it was how this particular lady was left feeling, when she stated – “the photos got inside my head”!

BUT as I mentioned earlier, it was the effect the results had on someones view of themselves.

Many people could see this as a reason to never want to be photographed again. While understandable, is perfectly avoidable.

So following on from last months blog, this is an interesting story of how we see ourselves in photographs. Perhaps it’s simply a knowledge thing, so ‘non photographers’ get some idea why some photographs are not particularly appealing.

Why do I bang on about the importance of lighting, angles and an enjoyable experience?

Because they are such important factors to achieving images you’ll love.

Have you ever had a similar experience?

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Don’t forget, the You Tube channel has tips for being photographed running up to Christmas available 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/@love-your-image

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NEWS – Watch this space!

With the new year just around the corner – I plan to merge Love Your Image with Penny Morgan Photography.
More news on this coming soon 🙂

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What do you think when you see yourself in an image?

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What do you think when you see yourself in an image?

Are you hyper critical?
Are your thoughts different compared to looking in the mirror?
Or are you accepting and feel good about what you see?

Does it matter? After all these are your thoughts, nobody else needs to know or hear about them… do they?

Had you ever considered your body listens to everything you think and say about yourself.

Yes that is a fact and well, why wouldn’t it, it is after all you.

It fills me with much encouragement and hope that society in general is opening up and discussing mental health. This got me thinking how important it is that we learn to cultivate a positive view on what we see in ourselves.

Ok, let’s start with looking in a mirror.

How often do you practise gratitude for the person you are and where you are in life? You height, your colouring (skin and hair), your size, your age… yes especially age! So what do you think when you see yourself in an image?

Sometimes we can find ourselves in ‘comparing’ mode with others.
Sometimes we think we have a good outlook towards self, and then be over critical when it comes to seeing ourselves in a photo!
How many of us have said “if only I could lose a bit of weight” – I know I have in the past!

So why? Where did we learn all that? What good did it do us?

Much can come from our childhood years and the values and expectations we learned from finding our place in society. Comparisons and judgement could have been placed on us by sibling, school peers, teachers, parents and people we love.

I grew up in an era when Twiggy rose to fame and to be stick thin was in fashion. Not a lot of fun for those of us who were born a completely different shape! This followed the era of soft and curvy from the 50’s. The objectification of women was considered quite normal. It took me many years to stop thinking I could be a different shape!

But attitudes and generations are changing thankfully! Comments that were once considered ok, are no longer acceptable in society.

Every size, shape, gender, colour and age should be equal and celebrated. How we see ourselves is very attached to the balance of our mental health. Again something that is today discussed more openly and vitally important for us to be aware of.

Again you may think, ‘is it really that important?’ Well yes, as I said earlier, our body listens to everything we say about it. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘self fulfilling prophecy’? If you are overly self critical, be careful what you say, think and wish for.

So a positive self image is important especially when times get tough.

Our lives can be full of things that come along to challenge us and our personal confidence. Life can be trundling along happily, when something major can turn it on its head in an instant. If we already have a lot of self doubt and self criticism going on, it’s going to make things even tougher.

Cultivating a positive self image is very important and can be helped by several small simple daily tasks that will cost you nothing.

Practising gratitude for everything in your life.
Look in the mirror and tell the person looking back how much you love and appreciate them.
Be grateful for the person you are, even when life gets tough.
Learning to recognise negative thoughts and stopping them in their tracks.

Learning to recognise and deal with doubt about ourselves early on can help prevent a downward spiral.

Going back to our question, what do you think when you see yourself in an image? The next time you find yourself being self critical, stop and think where it could lead. Even if it was the result of a wrong decision and you are giving yourself a hard time. Be kinder and just promise you will choose differently next time. Once you’ve learned to observe the thoughts you have, you can make sure there are plenty of positive ones are in there.

Yes, being kinder and patient with yourself is a very good thing.

If you’d like to discuss how you feel about being in photographs, the experience and what you see – a free review, with no obligation is available for you at any time – Your Free Review

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Positive and negative associations being photographed.

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What have positive and negative associations got to do with being photographed?

What have positive and negative associations got to do with being photographed? We spend much of our lives experiencing positives and negatives and what we do and don’t like. This can be in the things we choose to do and have to do. Perhaps, we’ve discovered a favourite holiday destination and some will choose to return to the same place regularly. It’s their happy place. We gravitate towards the things we enjoy by choice and strive to keep most of it positive and rewarding.

Some things may be more of a challenge to us for whatever reason. But often have to be done as a necessary aspect of achieving a more enjoyable life.

But what has this got to do with being photographed and seeing images of ourselves?

For many, we dislike the experience of being photographed as it reminds us of something really unpleasant from the past. It can be from childhood, or come from anywhere in our adult years. The resulting images just reflect that back to us with a negative reminder. It could be from a specific event, or just as commonly, a combination of learned behaviours and expectations.

Positive and negative associations being photographed – however, interestingly, we seem to remember the negatives more than the positives. So yes, you have positive associations from life. They are simply the things that don’t bother you in the least and you give them little thought. I’ll come onto these further on.

Referring back to my previous blog on “Body Parts in Photographs”. Lets take a look at a few general examples and how an association brought them to their current thinking:

‘I don’t like my teeth showing’

A child may have worn braces as a younger person and told to keep their mouth closed for a photograph.

“I hide my ears with my hair”

At school a child was told to tie their hair back and were teased about their ears.

“I want to lose some weight before I see you”

Weight is a common issue for many and may have been a source of negative comments. Or, we have learned by association through advertising and social media pressure that we should be thinner. This can lead to a challenge with self-esteem. It is further confirmed by the western culture we live in and the expectations placed on us.

Comments we have had from the past:

“You must have been beautiful when you were younger”

“You always ruined the photographs when you were a child”

Yes, sadly I’ve heard all of these and many many more.

So our current negative thinking towards being photographed can come from strong associations with things that have happened in our lives. In almost all instances, it was never your fault or responsibility. I refer back to another recent blog “What really going on in a photograph”

But as these are learned behaviours and associations, they can be changed.

I mentioned earlier that we also have positive associations. From my own journey, I have a list of both negatives and positives that shaped how I felt in front of a camera. Discovering this has given me power to my elbow (so to speak). It gave me the opportunity to target the things I wanted to change. It gave me the opportunity to reflect and feel good about the positives.

Fortunately society is beginning to change its thinking and attitudes and becoming inclusive to everyone, whatever, size, age, colour, culture, or sexuality. All the things that may have been cause of a negative association. This can also be a generational thing and take society quite a time to acknowledge.

There can be more complex areas of associations, but nearly all connect with how you felt at the time. So part of your journey to LoveYourImage can be identifying these negatives, understanding and changing them.

Love Your Image also has a You Tube channel. There will be more recorded conversations coming soon, so make sure you’re signed up to the mailing list and be notified when new articles and videos are published.

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Body parts in photographs!

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I could have made this article sound like an autopsy, with a heading on ‘body parts in photographs’!

To some of us, a particular part of our anatomy can be a bit like ‘the elephant in the room’. When having a camera pointed at us, or investing in a photoshoot, it’s the main thing we focus on in a negative way.

It can be one thing, or several elements you fixate on and dislike.

Over the years I’ve heard and observed a wide variety of areas that get the ‘thumbs down’:

“No profile shots, I’m conscious of my nose”
“I have to hide my ears with my hair”
“I don’t like my teeth showing”
“What can you do with my lazy eye?”
“My arms are a bit fat”
“I want to lose some weight before I come and see you”
“Can you lose my chins?”
“My hair… (yes even this)”
“Can you photoshop my lines out?”
“I smile like a cheshire cat!”
“I have a scar…”

… the list is long and varied – but I get it, I know the things that I thought were my problem areas many years ago.

When people ask if I can ‘photoshop’ them in an image, my answer is this:

“I can, but then all I’m doing is agreeing that you’re not good enough without correction”. (I will be writing more on photoshopping in another blog). Please do remember, this is solely your opinion of yourself.

Without exception, you are great the way you are. But, I DO understand things that challenge you and am here to help you start that process of viewing yourself differently.

Some people fear being judged, or have indeed had this happen. It could have been from many years ago… it’s not pleasant.

TO EVERYONE –

All who know you, matter to you and love you, will accept you as you are.

TO EVERYONE –

Judgement says everything about the person who is dishing it out and not about you (Judgement is also the subject of another blog).

You may begin to observe that I refer to other blogs that have been written and future blog subjects that will be covered. These will always be relevant to what I’m getting across in the current article.

So let’s keep this relevant to the matter in hand. To begin the process that will help you, rather than removing an item, I work at taking away the focus from that element. This can help you have a completely different view on it. Yes it still needs to be part of an overall pleasing image in all other aspects.

It’s achieved by the lighting used, the angles used and the right communication with the person being photographed to capture your spontaneous expressions.

Let me give you some examples:

Where someones teeth showing is their challenge – to work with half smiles if often successful. To allow someone to keep their mouth tightly closed, just causes tension around the mouth and jaw.

Chins is a common one – one trick is to get someone to lean towards the camera a little. It does’t take much… too much lean and it will look odd. Very often if someone suddenly has a fit of laughter, it can cause them to pull their chin in… giving themselves an extra chin which they don’t normally have.

Let’s say someones right eye doesn’t open quite as much as the other. I don’t like using the term ‘lazy’ as this makes it sound quite derogatory. Turn the right side of the face slightly towards the camera, have the camera a little above the subject, causing them to naturally look up towards the lens. This can often open that eye a little more than normal.

Facial lines – by flooding the face with light, without removing all shadow. Shade context gives your face shape and the unique expression that is you. This can either be using the right studio lighting, or finding the right natural light source. This can also apply to scars.

I can’t stress enough that adjustments in position, angle, height, light, really don’t need to be too much to achieve effective results. As already mentioned, the success is also in your spontaneous expression achieved by the communication with your photographer.

This blog brings a little insight to part of the process of helping you accept the tremendous individual that you already are.

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Using phone cameras and filters…

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It’s great, I can do everything on my phone… or can I?

It’s time to talk about the cameras most of us have.

The cameras we have on our phones and how we use them. Technology moves on at an incredibly fast pace, and has brought us so many new and convenient ways to communicate in different areas of our lives. Latest tech can be innovative and helpful, but can also bring new challenges. Let’s open up a few of these things and the positive and negative effects they bring in using phone cameras and filters.

Camera phones are built to make it easy – just open your camera app, point and shoot. If you have no knowledge of how cameras operate, this sounds fabulous. But when you don’t get the results you hope for – it’s frustrating, or, disappointing! I’m also generalising on the different phone models that most of us have and what we find happens. Some phones are better than others and the newer models are always adding features to improve them.

Differences in how camera phones and a full frame DSLR capture your likeness.

One of the main things is distortion.

You take a selfie and think “do I really look like that!”. I’m not going to get technical, but look at the comparisons I’ve used to illustrate, of my own selfies. The first was taken close up and personal the second at arms length. There is still distortion on the second, but not as noticeable as the first. Now if you dislike what you see in an image of yourself, this can be an issue. So, no that’s not what I truly look like!

Example of distortion in a selfie

Distortion is still there, but less when held at arms length.

It’s a point worth remembering when you take a selfie, all you can achieve is to minimise the effect.

The angle and lighting – this can make a difference.

We all have different shape and contours to our face and bodies – it’s what makes us unique, individual and beautiful. The light and angles in a photograph, can display that individuality in different ways. It can be flattering and forgiving, contrasting and artistic, or, cold, hard and unforgiving. If you’re taking the photograph, you have control over this … with a little knowhow ;).

So it’s not about you being ‘photogenic’, there’s a lot more going on that has an effect on this, that’s not your fault!

By the way, going back to the subject of distortion, the angle you hold your camera at yourself, can have a marked effect on distortion. Yes this can be used in a creative way, but can also accentuate or detract from a nice selfie.

Take a look at the header image.

The second one is too dark, because of bright light behind me and the third is a very poor angle from too low down – quite unflattering!

Using Filters…

The fact that we all have cameras on our phones and quick access to social media platforms, has brought about filters.

I’ve used a couple of images of myself, taken a while back to illustrate a little of what I mean. I’ve intentionally put them before and after – meaning, the first has been filtered, the second – filters are removed. I don’t want filters on me, I’m perfectly ok without them. I want people to be able to see, as close as possible, the real me – the one they would see when they meet me.

A portrait photograph with filter applied.

An example using a filter.

An example without using a filter.

Understanding exactly what’s going on in a photograph and why one might look a bit more pleasing than others is the subject of the next blog. “But you’re a photographer, so you would know” – yes but I wasn’t always confident in front of a camera – I’ve learned how to be and the reason why I created Love Your Image to be able to help others.

It may be quite fun to apply stars, butterflies, big eyes and puppy ears, and yes, the positive benefit of using a filter to improve colour, contrast or light level is fine. I started this blog with “It’s great, I can do everything on my phone…”. But filters have taken on a much more sinister and challenging effect, when used to change our appearance… your eye, lips, face, everything. Search on google for Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok filters… beauty filter, goddess filter, movie star filter, … the list is endless. The fun and helpful element is one thing, but when you see the endless comments on the negative effect the trend for filters is having… it’s time to speak out.

SHOULD WE HAVE THEM AT ALL?

These all create something different to who we really are. I’ve seen it suggested that they achieve unrealistic perfection. We can agree that we are all unique and individual, otherwise we’d be clones. So there is no bible or manual out there that says one person is perfect and another isn’t? Is this really just saying ‘I’m not happy with what I look like without a filter?? When people meet you face to face, you’ll look nothing like they imagined.

So remember, when you see others on social media who seem to have very smooth skin, even light and big doe eyes, they have likely applied filters. What you are seeing is actually not real!

I’m going to leave this blog on a note to watch for the future – the rise of the ‘metaverse’ – for all it’s helpful aspects, will this be the next body dysmorphia challenge to humans?

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