Tag Archives: negative self image

three images of a lady with questioning expression on her face

“The photos got inside my head!”

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The photos got inside my head!

Yes this is something I heard very recently – “the photos got inside my head”! So my last blog was on what we think of ourselves when we look in the mirror, or see ourselves in a photograph. Following on from this, I heard an interesting story recently from a lady I know.

She and her family went on a holiday cruise earlier in the year. There were photograph opportunities organised for families and guests on board. In no uncertain terms, she relayed how it was the worst photoshoot experience she had ever had, and without all the detail, she hadn’t enjoyed the experience and hated the results.

BUT my biggest concern was when she then said that the photographs ‘got inside my head’ and made her seriously doubt about how she looked. On their return, she went on a strict diet (because of how she felt) and did a family shoot at home using her phone and tripod. This was to re-assure herself that she didn’t look quite so bad.

Now I will often tell people, they may from time to time see images of themselves they’re not keen on, but it DOESN’T mean you can’t take a good one. This is to help them understand that often there are reasons and elements in a photograph that were outside their responsibility or control.

In a very early blog, I questioned the common saying ‘the camera never lies’. I still say this saying is not strictly true. Bear this in mind as you read…

Her story really troubled me and I found myself with all sorts of questions.

  • Did the shipping company use professional photographers?
  • How had they got the lights set?
  • Had they got the right angles for people?
  • Importantly, did the families and guests have an enjoyable experience?

Perhaps the photographers were rushed themselves if they had a lot of people to get through? However ‘conveyer belt’ photography is rarely going to achieve good results. If they were rushed, there was not going to be much opportunity for people to have a good experience.

From the information I was given the results of the images were far from flattering or accurate. However, whatever the photographers did or didn’t get right, it was how this particular lady was left feeling, when she stated – “the photos got inside my head”!

BUT as I mentioned earlier, it was the effect the results had on someones view of themselves.

Many people could see this as a reason to never want to be photographed again. While understandable, is perfectly avoidable.

So following on from last months blog, this is an interesting story of how we see ourselves in photographs. Perhaps it’s simply a knowledge thing, so ‘non photographers’ get some idea why some photographs are not particularly appealing.

Why do I bang on about the importance of lighting, angles and an enjoyable experience?

Because they are such important factors to achieving images you’ll love.

Have you ever had a similar experience?

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Don’t forget, the You Tube channel has tips for being photographed running up to Christmas available 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/@love-your-image

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NEWS – Watch this space!

With the new year just around the corner – I plan to merge Love Your Image with Penny Morgan Photography. 
More news on this coming soon 🙂

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Three different expressions of Penny in a pink jumper. What do you think of your image?

What do you think when you see yourself in an image?

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What do you think when you see yourself in an image?

  • Are you hyper critical?
  • Are your thoughts different compared to looking in the mirror?
  • Or are you accepting and feel good about what you see?

Does it matter? After all these are your thoughts, nobody else needs to know or hear about them… do they?

Had you ever considered your body listens to everything you think and say about yourself.

Yes that is a fact and well, why wouldn’t it, it is after all you.

It fills me with much encouragement and hope that society in general is opening up and discussing mental health. This got me thinking how important it is that we learn to cultivate a positive view on what we see in ourselves.

Ok, let’s start with looking in a mirror.

How often do you practise gratitude for the person you are and where you are in life? You height, your colouring (skin and hair), your size, your age… yes especially age! So what do you think when you see yourself in an image?

  • Sometimes we can find ourselves in ‘comparing’ mode with others.
  • Sometimes we think we have a good outlook towards self, and then be over critical when it comes to seeing ourselves in a photo!
  • How many of us have said “if only I could lose a bit of weight” – I know I have in the past!

So why? Where did we learn all that? What good did it do us?

Much can come from our childhood years and the values and expectations we learned from finding our place in society. Comparisons and judgement could have been placed on us by sibling, school peers, teachers, parents and people we love.

I grew up in an era when Twiggy rose to fame and to be stick thin was in fashion. Not a lot of fun for those of us who were born a completely different shape! This followed the era of soft and curvy from the 50’s. The objectification of women was considered quite normal. It took me many years to stop thinking I could be a different shape!

But attitudes and generations are changing thankfully! Comments that were once considered ok, are no longer acceptable in society.

Every size, shape, gender, colour and age should be equal and celebrated. How we see ourselves is very attached to the balance of our mental health. Again something that is today discussed more openly and vitally important for us to be aware of.

Again you may think, ‘is it really that important?’ Well yes, as I said earlier, our body listens to everything we say about it. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘self fulfilling prophecy’? If you are overly self critical, be careful what you say, think and wish for.

So a positive self image is important especially when times get tough.

Our lives can be full of things that come along to challenge us and our personal confidence. Life can be trundling along happily, when something major can turn it on its head in an instant. If we already have a lot of self doubt and self criticism going on, it’s going to make things even tougher.

Cultivating a positive self image is very important and can be helped by several small simple daily tasks that will cost you nothing.

  • Practising gratitude for everything in your life.
  • Look in the mirror and tell the person looking back how much you love and appreciate them.
  • Be grateful for the person you are, even when life gets tough.
  • Learning to recognise negative thoughts and stopping them in their tracks.

Learning to recognise and deal with doubt about ourselves early on can help prevent a downward spiral.

Going back to our question, what do you think when you see yourself in an image? The next time you find yourself being self critical, stop and think where it could lead. Even if it was the result of a wrong decision and you are giving yourself a hard time. Be kinder and just promise you will choose differently next time. Once you’ve learned to observe the thoughts you have, you can make sure there are plenty of positive ones are in there.

Yes, being kinder and patient with yourself is a very good thing.

If you’d like to discuss how you feel about being in photographs, the experience and what you see – a free review, with no obligation is available for you at any time – Your Free Review

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Don’t forget, there is a Love Your Image You Tube channel that gets regularly added to – subscribe to the channel and you can be part of the conversation – Love Your Image on You Tube

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Images of unhappy people not enjoying being photographed.

Social media, advertising and our self-esteem

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Social media, advertising and our self-esteem.


Powerful influences, invisible by their constant visibility!


If you have phones, tablets, computers and TVs, you’re exposed to advertising and social media.

Yes, we can create ‘free’ accounts on all the various platforms, in return for placing adverts and ‘sponsored’ or ‘suggested’ postings in our viewing. Algorithms cleverly watch what you view and search on, to tailor the adverts and posts you see. But how aware are you of the effects of social media, advertising and our self-esteem? 


Should the very word ‘influencers’ on platforms such as Instagram and TikTok ring alarm bells?

 

What’s this got to do with photography and getting in front of a camera?

Well quite a lot really – mainly in the way it influences how people see themselves in an image.

I’d love to say I see as many positive comment as negative, but I don’t. However, I’ll let you be the judge of that in comments you see and read on your own platforms.

Is all advertising and social media bad?

Definitely not – there are many things we see or search on, that are useful to us and just what you need in your personal or business life. People can also be very supportive of each other in images they see of their friends and loved ones. So I’ve become quite an observer of these influences and the way they operate.

But it’s a lot to do with how easily you are influenced?

This is what I often observe:

  • Are they trying to make me feel bad about myself in order to sell me something?
  • Are they using urgent time scale pressure, so I will make a quick decision to buy/commit?
  • Are they using sensationalism or ‘click bait’ to draw me in?
  • Are they using peer pressure, so I will want to be part of that gang or tribe?

I use the word ‘they’, because there are humans who make decisions on marketing strategies. The algorithms, mainly collect the data they want to know about on peoples behaviour – that includes you.

I could go on…

What’s the damaging end result in amongst all this, if the above list works?

People, thinking they should be more like this that or the other, or have this that or the other, because they are led to believe they will then be a better person, or, accepted and ‘fit in’ to society.

I hope you get an idea of what I’m observing here. People can be subconsciously influenced to have a poor image of themselves, for no good reason! However, it’s something I both hear and observe in many who come to work with me. Yes, I include myself in that as a younger person, when I hated my photograph being taken. A lot of it was to do with my own self-esteem and how I viewed myself.

At this point I’d like to share a very relevant and current You Tube video from Dove:

Dove Self-Esteem project video.


Realising if we are to truly be in charge of our own lives and the decisions we make, for the sake of our own mental health, awareness of these influences is absolutely key.

Yes there are many plus points having the technology to connect with each other and, have easy access to important information so freely. However many in society are being blindly led in a direction these influences want them to go and most of us are exposed to this much of our waking day.

Remember it is you and you alone who are in charge of your life.

You can be in control of what you see and hear. Be aware of what influences your life. Others will respect you far more for being your own person.

So, how aware are you of the effects of social media, advertising and our self-esteem?


Do you want to be in charge, or be influenced?

 

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Five different photographs of a man standing

Body parts in photographs!

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I could have made this article sound like an autopsy, with a heading on ‘body parts in photographs’!


To some of us, a particular part of our anatomy can be a bit like ‘the elephant in the room’. When having a camera pointed at us, or investing in a photoshoot, it’s the main thing we focus on in a negative way.

It can be one thing, or several elements you fixate on and dislike.

Over the years I’ve heard and observed a wide variety of areas that get the ‘thumbs down’:

  • “No profile shots, I’m conscious of my nose”
  • “I have to hide my ears with my hair”
  • “I don’t like my teeth showing”
  • “What can you do with my lazy eye?”
  • “My arms are a bit fat”
  • “I want to lose some weight before I come and see you”
  • “Can you lose my chins?”
  • “My hair… (yes even this)”
  • “Can you photoshop my lines out?”
  • “I smile like a cheshire cat!”
  • “I have a scar…”

… the list is long and varied – but I get it, I know the things that I thought were my problem areas many years ago.

When people ask if I can ‘photoshop’ them in an image, my answer is this:


“I can, but then all I’m doing is agreeing that you’re not good enough without correction”. (I will be writing more on photoshopping in another blog). Please do remember, this is solely your opinion of yourself.

Without exception, you are great the way you are. But, I DO understand things that challenge you and am here to help you start that process of viewing yourself differently.

Some people fear being judged, or have indeed had this happen. It could have been from many years ago… it’s not pleasant.

TO EVERYONE –

All who know you, matter to you and love you, will accept you as you are.

TO EVERYONE –

Judgement says everything about the person who is dishing it out and not about you (Judgement is also the subject of another blog).

You may begin to observe that I refer to other blogs that have been written and future blog subjects that will be covered. These will always be relevant to what I’m getting across in the current article.

So let’s keep this relevant to the matter in hand. To begin the process that will help you, rather than removing an item, I work at taking away the focus from that element. This can help you have a completely different view on it. Yes it still needs to be part of an overall pleasing image in all other aspects.

It’s achieved by the lighting used, the angles used and the right communication with the person being photographed to capture your spontaneous expressions.

Let me give you some examples:


Where someones teeth showing is their challenge – to work with half smiles if often successful. To allow someone to keep their mouth tightly closed, just causes tension around the mouth and jaw.

Chins is a common one – one trick is to get someone to lean towards the camera a little. It does’t take much… too much lean and it will look odd. Very often if someone suddenly has a fit of laughter, it can cause them to pull their chin in… giving themselves an extra chin which they don’t normally have.

Let’s say someones right eye doesn’t open quite as much as the other. I don’t like using the term ‘lazy’ as this makes it sound quite derogatory. Turn the right side of the face slightly towards the camera, have the camera a little above the subject, causing them to naturally look up towards the lens. This can often open that eye a little more than normal.

Facial lines – by flooding the face with light, without removing all shadow. Shade context gives your face shape and the unique expression that is you. This can either be using the right studio lighting, or finding the right natural light source. This can also apply to scars.

I can’t stress enough that adjustments in position, angle, height, light, really don’t need to be too much to achieve effective results. As already mentioned, the success is also in your spontaneous expression achieved by the communication with your photographer.

This blog brings a little insight to part of the process of helping you accept the tremendous individual that you already are.

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