How we are are feeling is very important in our lives. It’s very powerful, but also very invisible. It’s just that … a feeling, but something VERY influential to us.
People will always remember how you left them feeling.
What’s that got to do with photography? A huge amount actually… lets look at why.
So why is how we feel, connected to photography?
For whatever reason someone might not enjoy getting in front of a camera or indeed refuse to do so, it will be connected with a feeling of some sort.
When there is a dislike of getting in front of a camera, it will be a feeling from a negative association. This could go back to any period of time.
It could be about any part of you, your personality and your physical appearance.
There can be a variety of complex reasons, but there is a positive side!
Because the flip side of that can be just as powerful and impactful with positive associations:
These may be harder to remember, because we have a habit of focusing on the negatives. But those happy positive occasions will be there.
What we see and feel about ourselves is very connected to what we see in photographs. It will be part of the many reasons we do and don’t like getting in front of a camera.
For many years, holistic therapists have been listening to their clients and treating them for different ailments. These will be strongly and directly associated with how that person is feeling about themselves, their ailments, their relationships and place in life.
Therefore a further connection with how we feel and our wellbeing (another connection with recent blogs!).
I simply do this via photography.
It’s one of my highest priorities in a photoshoot that people leave feeling pretty good about themselves and that they’ve even enjoyed the experience … especially when they thought they wouldn’t. It happens frequently.
So if there is one thing you can do today (and everyday) for yourselves and towards those you talk to, is speak kindly of yourself and of others, feel kindly towards yourself and others and make today contain more happy associations.
It’s important to feel good about what we see in ourselves … even in the tough times … and it will help you find that confidence in front of a camera.
When I say ‘fashion’, I’m including clothes, shoes, makeup and now cosmetic enhancements – do you buy into the current ‘look’ and know what’s really going on.
Some of my blogs may start off and appear not to have much to do with photography. But over the last 19 months of writing, there is always a vital and relevant connection. They are always on a subject that affects how people feel in front of a camera or what they see in an image. This could be a direct attachment to a subject, or a general underlying influence that has affected you over a period of time.
This one is mainly based on our attitude to following fashions and why we do it in relation to how we see and feel about ourselves.
Clothes:
Now I love clothes and make-up as much as anyone and have probably adopted different styles over the years. But my attitude has changed also… for the better (I consider) I’m glad to add. Once, I would try something on and be disappointed in the result, because my basic self-esteem on how I looked was not the greatest. Yes, I would see a fashion or trend and try to replicate that look. What I saw in a picture was what I thought I wanted to be like and how I wanted others to see me… whether it suited me or not!
Valuable guidance
Working as a photographer, I frequently get asked for advice on what to wear for a shoot. I give them a few tips, but also recommend they consider the services of a stylist. Such a person can help them with what colours and styles suit them, whatever age, shape and size they are at. Many will also help you make the best use of your existing wardrobe, rather than buying new.
Below, I’ve shared a video interview with Shirley Webb, who is a colour and clothes stylist.
Fortunately, I’ve never been a ‘label’ follower. Yes, I look for decent quality clothes, but not highly priced, recognised branded items. There is nothing wrong in these items if you really love it, looks good on you and you can afford. But there are those who will buy into this, regardless of its cost and whether they can afford it, simply because of it’s name. Many believe they will be judged positively because of what they are wearing, believing it creates a sense of where they sit in society.
Makeup:
Once I would never go out, or go to work without some on. Why?Because I didn’t want people to see the real me. I had been conditioned in my younger years to think that the ‘look’ of makeup was expected and I’d be judged by not ‘looking my best’. But not so influenced to remember my grandmother suggesting my own mother should wear a little more. My mum never did wear a great deal, she was busy bringing up five children, so her priorities were elsewhere.
So my use of make-up has now vastly reduced. I can happily go out with or without makeup and confident in how I look. So I wear it when it suits me now and enjoy the look of both.
Cosmetic enhancements:
This one I question the most, however for many is a regular expenditure:
Botox
Lip augmentation
Facelift
Eyelid lift
Forehead lift
Rhinoplasty
Plastic Surgery
Breast augmentation
Liposuction
I’ve never had any of these as I don’t consider I need them. However, having never experienced any, will try and stay balanced in my opinions, as once upon a time a younger me may have felt differently.
Yes, I can completely see why some might be helpful and favourable in certain circumstances. They have perhaps been born, or experienced changes to their appearance through accident or disfigurement. This can already have led to a lifetime of challenges with bullying or judgement.
I also empathise with those who’ve already bought into this option for whatever reason they felt it necessary.
Fashions change!
Of course they do and will always continue to do so through time. Why does this happen? Well yes, we all need to buy clothes for practical reasons but would also want to look good in them… nothing wrong in that. From my own observations it’s driven by the big corporates who sell us ‘fashion’ and our insatiable want to carve an identity in how we look. One feeds the other.
Therefore, if you’ve bought into permanent cosmetic enhancements to be part of a particular look or style – what happens when that fashion changes? Our skin is our largest organ and serves many purposes. It’s not there just as an aesthetic covering.
How I want others to see me
I don’t know when I became aware that this life is not a competition– it’s really not. Or, looking for approval from others in how I look in order to fit in – is not needed. Or, perhaps it was when I introduced the idea to myself that I’m exactly as I should be just as I am. Or, I stopped criticising myself and wanting to change things.
I choose to buy into MY own look and continue to nurture that thought that I am enough.
This leads me onto that word ‘perfect’.
When we apply it to ourselves, does the word ‘perfect’ get taken out of context?
If we can agree that we are all different and unique in our own ways, why do we consider ourselves as having ‘imperfections’?
Who has the authority to say a particular size, shape… or ‘look’ is what we should be aiming for to be a ‘somebody’?
If it makes us individually feel better to make a change in ourselves then we do it for us and not for others. Why should we entertain others judging us on our size or looks?
When we start to consider and embrace that we are already perfect, you can start to like and love what you see to a level you never thought possible.
Yes that might seem like a goal many of us couldn’t achieve. But, what have you got to lose by trying? Is buying into a particular look because you compare yourself to others, the best reason?
Being photographed and viewing images of ourselves, simply underlines and exposes that view we have of self.
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Don’t forget to visit the Love Your Image You Tube channel and find the top tips for getting in front of a camera.
