Tag Archives: being in front of a camera

Varying individual images of a man and a woman

Buying into a ‘look’ and know what’s really going on.

Do you buy into a particular fashion trend?

When I say ‘fashion’, I’m including clothes, shoes, makeup and now cosmetic enhancements – do you buy into the current ‘look’ and know what’s really going on.

Some of my blogs may start off and appear not to have much to do with photography. But over the last 19 months of writing, there is always a vital and relevant connection. They are always on a subject that affects how people feel in front of a camera or what they see in an image. This could be a direct attachment to a subject, or a general underlying influence that has affected you over a period of time.

This one is mainly based on our attitude to following fashions and why we do it in relation to how we see and feel about ourselves.

Clothes:

Now I love clothes and make-up as much as anyone and have probably adopted different styles over the years. But my attitude has changed also… for the better (I consider) I’m glad to add. Once, I would try something on and be disappointed in the result, because my basic self-esteem on how I looked was not the greatest. Yes, I would see a fashion or trend and try to replicate that look. What I saw in a picture was what I thought I wanted to be like and how I wanted others to see me… whether it suited me or not!

Valuable guidance

Working as a photographer, I frequently get asked for advice on what to wear for a shoot. I give them a few tips, but also recommend they consider the services of a stylist. Such a person can help them with what colours and styles suit them, whatever age, shape and size they are at. Many will also help you make the best use of your existing wardrobe, rather than buying new.

Below, I’ve shared a video interview with Shirley Webb, who is a colour and clothes stylist.

Fortunately, I’ve never been a ‘label’ follower. Yes, I look for decent quality clothes, but not highly priced, recognised branded items. There is nothing wrong in these items if you really love it, looks good on you and you can afford. But there are those who will buy into this, regardless of its cost and whether they can afford it, simply because of it’s name. Many believe they will be judged positively because of what they are wearing, believing it creates a sense of where they sit in society.

Makeup:

Once I would never go out, or go to work without some on. Why? Because I didn’t want people to see the real me. I had been conditioned in my younger years to think that the ‘look’ of makeup was expected and I’d be judged by not ‘looking my best’. But not so influenced to remember my grandmother suggesting my own mother should wear a little more. My mum never did wear a great deal, she was busy bringing up five children, so her priorities were elsewhere.

So my use of make-up has now vastly reduced. I can happily go out with or without makeup and confident in how I look. So I wear it when it suits me now and enjoy the look of both.

Cosmetic enhancements:

This one I question the most, however for many is a regular expenditure:

  • Botox
  • Lip augmentation
  • Facelift
  • Eyelid lift
  • Forehead lift
  • Rhinoplasty
  • Plastic Surgery
  • Breast augmentation
  • Liposuction

I’ve never had any of these as I don’t consider I need them. However, having never experienced any, will try and stay balanced in my opinions, as once upon a time a younger me may have felt differently.

Yes, I can completely see why some might be helpful and favourable in certain circumstances. They have perhaps been born, or experienced changes to their appearance through accident or disfigurement. This can already have led to a lifetime of challenges with bullying or judgement.

I also empathise with those who’ve already bought into this option for whatever reason they felt it necessary.

Fashions change!

Of course they do and will always continue to do so through time. Why does this happen? Well yes, we all need to buy clothes for practical reasons but would also want to look good in them… nothing wrong in that. From my own observations it’s driven by the big corporates who sell us ‘fashion’ and our insatiable want to carve an identity in how we look. One feeds the other.

Therefore, if you’ve bought into permanent cosmetic enhancements to be part of a particular look or style – what happens when that fashion changes? Our skin is our largest organ and serves many purposes. It’s not there just as an aesthetic covering.

How I want others to see me

I don’t know when I became aware that this life is not a competition – it’s really not.
Or, looking for approval from others in how I look in order to fit in – is not needed.
Or, perhaps it was when I introduced the idea to myself that I’m exactly as I should be just as I am.
Or, I stopped criticising myself and wanting to change things.

I choose to buy into MY own look and continue to nurture that thought that I am enough.

This leads me onto that word ‘perfect’.

When we apply it to ourselves, does the word ‘perfect’ get taken out of context?

If we can agree that we are all different and unique in our own ways, why do we consider ourselves as having ‘imperfections’?

Who has the authority to say a particular size, shape… or ‘look’ is what we should be aiming for to be a ‘somebody’?

If it makes us individually feel better to make a change in ourselves then we do it for us and not for others. Why should we entertain others judging us on our size or looks?

When we start to consider and embrace that we are already perfect, you can start to like and love what you see to a level you never thought possible.

Yes that might seem like a goal many of us couldn’t achieve. But, what have you got to lose by trying? Is buying into a particular look because you compare yourself to others, the best reason?

Being photographed and viewing images of ourselves, simply underlines and exposes that view we have of self.

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Woman wearing a suit of armour

Is judgement human nature or a choice?

Is judgement human nature or a choice?

Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me… or do they …? Cue the suit of armour!

We all do it, but we hate when it’s done to us.

Judgement is everywhere – we all have opinions on a lot of things throughout our lives.

Unless you’ve had a particular incident that you can relate back to, a fear of being judged is one of the biggest contributors for a dislike of being photographed.

It’s a frequent observation when meeting and working with new people in front of a camera. The apprehension and anxiety is visible. Until they realise there is no judgement or expectation for them to be anything else but themselves.

This ties in with the last blog regarding the values and expectations we learn from birth. It’s taken me years of my life to understand this. I work on changing things when I consider necessary, in my efforts to be a better human being… there, I’ve just made a judgement upon my own life.

Let’s look at what judgement or, to judge means.

We all have opinions on things – so is it when we share or verbalise an opinion that it becomes a judgement? That may depend on whether it’s referring to a fact, or, judgement being passed, as in a court of law. When it comes to speaking/posting a personal opinion about someone/group of people, are we aware of the impact it could have on their life?

The one thing you can be sure of… if you judge others, you in return will be judged.

Yes we have far more freedom of speech in the UK than some other countries. So perhaps some see it as their right to pass judgement? However, it doesn’t change universal law that what you give out, you will get back.

  • Have you ever considered reducing the amount you judge?
  • Refrain from verbalising an opinion a little more often?
  • Would it make you a happier person?
  • Would it change the dynamics of your relationships with others?

Who are we to pass comment on someone when we perhaps know little about them, or their life. Or how their day was panning out when you crossed paths with them? Is judgement only considered negatively, or can you have positive judgement?

All points to consider.

To change this in ourselves, we first need to understand why we do it.

Many of us live a life of comparison and trying to be what others expect, for fear of being judged. It’s born out of wanting to be accepted, liked, loved and to fit in. It takes, a lot of learning, self assurance, confidence and belief in yourself to feel comfortable NOT to do this. Reading that back, I’m thinking “Why would we do that to ourselves?” But we do.

How do we deal with judgement and what can we do about it?

We may not have control of what people say to us. But we definitely have control and choice of how think and behave when it’s dished out!

When we receive judgement, our initial reaction can be one of upset and hurt. You may feel you want to hit back and defend yourself. Please remember to keep this in context of a particular situation. But you can learn to realise, things people say, speaks much more about them, than it does about you. Judgement from one person, may be a compliment from another, according to their opinion. How many times have you heard an opinion being voiced? But it wasn’t asked for and was fairly obviously unnecessary.

It’s a challenge to keep our opinions to ourselves when others have been judgemental to us. Very often, it’s said in jest, or it can be followed up with “I was only joking”. If you’ve been following my blogs, I refer to an example I shared in Photographer Responsibility – part 2.

There is strength and power in knowing when to stay silent and when to respond.

Very often things others say stay with us, cause us to doubt ourselves, and question what we do and who we are. This is something some people will have endured for many years. It can cover all sorts of things, in every area of our lives. How we behave – even expectations in what we look like in our dress and style. It’s often most difficult to deal with if we are tired or feeling a little low.

What positive can come out of this? An individuals unique personality will always want to break through and be itself. You can start your journey of change to become who you want to be.
*** Awareness of ourselves is key to helping you on that path.

Being stronger to deal with judgement starts with ourselves.

Be kinder to yourself and stop giving yourself a hard time, it’s not a sign of weakness or giving in. If you feel you’ve made errors in the past, you were simply doing your best at the time. Judging others less will also reap its rewards.

So in answer to my original heading question. Is judgement human nature or a choice? I believe it’s a mix of both. Yes it’s part of human nature, but you do have a choice and can learn to deal with it. Start changing some lifetime habits. As I mentioned previously, it is essential for someone to feel they can be themselves when being photographed, without fear of being judged.

A date for your diaries 🙂 – this blog ties in perfectly with the event.

*** I will be one of the panelists at the ‘BE YOU’ event on April 28th 2023 in Bury St Edmunds at The Athenaeum. It’s all about driving change through conversation and support, to help you BE YOU. Do book your ticket and come along :).

Don’t forget, you can follow me on social media channels and check out and subscribe to the Love Your Image You Tube channel.

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Five different images of life as we know it.

Culture shock photography!

Does the culture and society we live in affect our attitude towards being photographed?

Does the culture and society we live in affect our attitude towards being photographed? Here in the UK, we live in what is considered a modern civilised society. We are a developed country, as like Europe, Canada, North America, Australia, New Zealand. But the world is ever more multicultural, and effects of our society filter through to other countries and cultures. Made ever easier with the growth of the internet, mobile phones and social media connectivity.

One thing that is certain, culture, fashion, image, beauty, styles, all evolve and change over the centuries. In my opinion one of the things that can drive change and evolution in a culture is money. Whether it’s a lack of it, or lots of it. Innovation is and can be great for the world population. Although as mankind has discovered that can come at a cost when misused.

But what’s all this got to do with getting in front of a camera?

Well the culture we are born into and grow up in is going to have a profound effect on our learning and development. Yes it’s also got a lot to do with those closest to us. If they’ve grown up in the same environment, a lot of expectations and beliefs can be very similar.

Now we are getting closer to the point…

Part of our belief system that we learn and develop from when we are children, comes from the society we are born into. Our youngsters haven’t experienced a world where the internet and computers, including mobile devices didn’t exist.

Each generation can be heard to say “when I was young, we didn’t have (this that or the other) … “. You’ve only got to search YouTube for Monty Python’s Yorkshireman sketch if you fancy a real giggle on this.

But somewhere in the world there are children who live without access to clean water. Have nothing more than the clothes they stand in, let alone a TV or a mobile phone.

This blog is not about the right and wrong of these things. It’s to highlight the beliefs we form, including that of ourselves, according to the world we are raised in.

Somewhere in the world all these things have been and are considered beautiful and attractive:

  • Large in size
  • Tooth sharpening
  • Lip and neck stretching
  • Flawless skin
  • Small feet
  • Pale skin
  • Dark skin

In our world, we can easily see ourselves. We have mirrors. We have phones and cameras with which we can capture pictures. As a two year old, you may have discovered yourself in a mirror, and kissed your reflection. When was the last time you were able to look in a mirror, and genuinely love what you see?

Nowadays, we have ‘trendsetters’ and ‘influencers’ on platforms like Instagram and TikTok.

Copying a style has become normal. The pressure to confirm and be like others in our peer groups is HUGE.Reality TV produce series in the name of ‘entertainment’ that further highlight current ‘trends’. It’s invisible in its normality as an accepted part of our daily life… until it causes us problems. The term ‘reality TV’ itself I find questionable. Does it really reflect real life and real people? Trendsetters and influencers can be an inspiration to many and be a positive thing in lots of ways. However, it’s the expectations we put on ourselves, to be like this that or the other that I find unsettling.

Some people lives their lives by others benchmarks.

I’ve always wanted to encourage people to be their own person and to learn to love who they are.

For those who don’t like being photographed or seeing the results, it can have evolved from the belief system they developed in the society they grew up in. This would include how they see themselves – not something you would necessarily be aware of. There is another given in life. WE are responsible for ourselves and the person we become. This is made up of the choices we make and how we get there. Yes life has a habit of throwing us good things and big ‘ol curve balls. We can’t necessarily change what has happened, but we can change and be in control of how we react.

The pandemic has highlighted our need to take care of our mental health…

Perhaps there are some positive things to come out of the challenge of the past 3 years. If it causes us to be more aware of ourselves and what affects us, it’s never too late to make changes to feel happier and healthier… and love who we are and what we see.

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For those who find getting in front of the camera for Video, there will soon be a series of Video shorts on the Love Your Image You Tube channel – using a personal project for illustration, these will be video clips on creating videos 😎

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