Author Archives: Penny

“That’s me you’ve just described … ”

“That’s me you’ve just described! – I don’t like being photographed”

Over the years, I’ve given many presentations and networking pitches on the subject of being photographed. Particularly a dislike of it! I’ve lost count the number of times someone has afterwards said “that’s me you’ve just described – I don’t like being photographed”

We may or may not chat further.

They may still go away thinking they:

can’t
won’t
or not ready

… to change how they feel.

However, the important thing is listen to what they are saying. Then gauge whether to continue the conversation and on what level.

Many may not even realise help is available – and that knowledge will give them choice and is a great starting point.

I’ve always said it’s an individual journey for everyone.

We only adjust our thoughts when we’re ready to do so – fact.
Or when someone shows us a way forward we didn’t realise existed.
It might be a subconscious shift in perception.

All these reasons are perfectly ok and normal.

Over the years, I’ve done a lot of ‘seed planting’.

For many, a few words, tips and observations have been a starting point of change – that was all they needed. I’ve never directly worked with them, but seen a positive difference in their attitude to being in front of a camera – time for me to inwardly celebrate 🙂.

For some it’s a much longer journey of gentle support and encouragement. There’s no expectation when they may feel ready to move on.

But the best thing is, (and take heart all of you) a change in perception isn’t necessarily a deep delve into the past. Or involve talking through past issues.
It can be a lot simpler and far more enjoyable than that!

Currently, the majority of those who come to work with me realise an avoidance of being photographed is not good for their business.

They really need new and up to date imagery. This is often what prompts them to get in touch. I’ll refer you back to a relevant earlier blog on business visibility and why it’s important – Personal Branding and being visible in your business – what does this mean for you?

Now testimonials are ALWAYS appreciated – and have shared snippets from a couple of reviews. Both are really relevant to what I’ve been referring to:

“…This was my second photo shoot with Penny, and once again, she was amazing! Over time, she’s really helped me shift how I feel about being in front of the camera. I used to dread having my photo taken and would pick apart every little detail afterward. But Penny’s supportive and professional approach has completely changed that…” Lorraine Clarke

…From the moment we started, Penny was professional, creative, and truly dedicated to capturing the best version of Kathryn and me. The photos turned out amazing. Crisp, clear, and full of personality. But more importantly, they’ve made a real impact on my business. I’ve had several new clients mention that they were drawn to my website because of the warm, smiley photos that Penny took. Their compliments have translated into actual business wins. I firmly believe that the quality of the images played a significant role…” Joanne Moss.

So next time I hear someone say – “that’s me you’ve just described – I don’t like being photographed” – I will ask (without expectation) “would you like to change that?”

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Don’t forget, keep an eye on the You Tube Channel for short videos on tips for getting in front of cameras – Penny Morgan Photography

How will you be left feeling?

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How will you be left feeling?

How we are are feeling is very important in our lives.
It’s very powerful, but also very invisible.
It’s just that … a feeling, but something VERY influential to us.

People will always remember how you left them feeling.

What’s that got to do with photography? A huge amount actually… lets look at why.

So why is how we feel, connected to photography?

For whatever reason someone might not enjoy getting in front of a camera or indeed refuse to do so, it will be connected with a feeling of some sort.

When there is a dislike of getting in front of a camera, it will be a feeling from a negative association. This could go back to any period of time.

You might want to dip back into a blog I wrote some time ago on positive and negative associations – https://www.blog.pennymorgan.co.uk/2025/03/15/positive-and-negative-associations-being-photographed/

It could be something mild.
It could be something really challenging.
It could be about any part of you, your personality and your physical appearance.
There can be a variety of complex reasons, but there is a positive side!

Because the flip side of that can be just as powerful and impactful with positive associations:

These may be harder to remember, because we have a habit of focusing on the negatives. But those happy positive occasions will be there.

What we see and feel about ourselves is very connected to what we see in photographs. It will be part of the many reasons we do and don’t like getting in front of a camera.

For many years, holistic therapists have been listening to their clients and treating them for different ailments. These will be strongly and directly associated with how that person is feeling about themselves, their ailments, their relationships and place in life.

Therefore a further connection with how we feel and our wellbeing (another connection with recent blogs!).

I simply do this via photography.

It’s one of my highest priorities in a photoshoot that people leave feeling pretty good about themselves and that they’ve even enjoyed the experience … especially when they thought they wouldn’t. It happens frequently.

Love Your Image sessions, help someone identify those negative associations. We then work to change those perceptions, which is entirely achievable. https://www.pennymorgan.co.uk/gallery-collection/Love-Your-Image/C0000LT3su8s1leA

So if there is one thing you can do today (and everyday) for yourselves and towards those you talk to, is speak kindly of yourself and of others, feel kindly towards yourself and others and make today contain more happy associations.

It’s important to feel good about what we see in ourselves … even in the tough times … and it will help you find that confidence in front of a camera.

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What does your wellbeing look like to you?

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What does your wellbeing look like to you?

So I’ll start by asking you “What does your wellbeing look like to you?” and we’ll come back to this question.

For many, wellbeing is associated to how we feel. When life is good and running smoothly we can feel great. When life throws us challenges to navigate through a period of time, we can feel tired, drained and stressed.

Your wellbeing is yours to define and look after and is individual to everyone.

High stress levels will mean our cortisol and stress hormones rise. If we live with high stress levels for any length of time, it can ultimately impact on our physical and mental wellbeing. When life challenges us like this, it can also lead to a deterioration in how we feel and see ourselves.

Back to that initial question ‘What does your wellbeing look like to you?’ As a photographer, I frequently observe (and hear) a connection between how people see themselves in photographs and how they feel about themselves in general. Especially for those who don’t like getting in front of a camera.

This is unique to everyone – what may affect some in a negative way, won’t even register with others. There is no right or wrong in either.

So how can we maintain a happy balanced life that we enjoy and thrive in? One in which we feel good about who we are and what we see.

We all have ‘stuff’ going on in our lives to manage and navigate. The life skills we have learned and developed, enable us to go to work, run a business, raise a family. All these things can impact our outlook and wellbeing.

Is a good awareness of ourselves our key anchor point to maintaining some life equilibrium and part of our skillset to coping with challenging times?

Are you a person who spends time thinking, ‘when I lose (or gain) weight’, when I have XYZ treatment’, ‘when I get a bit fitter’ … I’ll feel better about myself. Do you think it’s actually important to like and love yourself as you are now, whatever size, shape, colour or package you come in?

Another big thing that can shape our views of self, is a learning for many of – ‘act as if everything is ok’, don’t talk about that problem’, ‘don’t make a fuss’, ‘this was all your fault’. We stay quiet and hope it will go away. But this can hide a plethora of problems that we end up living with.

It can be a big challenge and change for many of us to openly admit not all is well and find the courage to seek help and support.

Where can we find the answers to maintaining a healthy sense of wellbeing?

You can get help and support with so many things these days. Being a great subscriber in a more holistic approach to looking after myself, can vouch for the benefits of many therapies. To name a few, such as acupuncture, meditation, yoga, NRT, physiotherapy, hypnotherapy, alongside our more traditional medicines via GP’s and hospitals.

During early lockdown I spent many hours studying the work of Dr Bruce Lipton. He is an American stem cell biologist and has found the scientific connection and proof that our genes do not control our biology. Rather your mind is your key to the control you have over yourself. Well why wouldn’t it, after all it is all you. Your body isn’t some separate entity you have to live with. So this made perfect sense to me.

To return to the question ‘What does your wellbeing look like to you?’ How you see yourself and how you refer to yourself is very important. As a photographer, I see the absolute best in everyone and through my work with ‘Love Your Image’, help others to see it in themselves.

Truly loving ourselves, is one of the most powerful things we can do and greatly benefits our wellbeing.

You can find out more about Love Your Image on the website here

There are available help session within Love Your Image. You can find more information here

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“The photos got inside my head!”

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The photos got inside my head!

Yes this is something I heard very recently – “the photos got inside my head”! So my last blog was on what we think of ourselves when we look in the mirror, or see ourselves in a photograph. Following on from this, I heard an interesting story recently from a lady I know.

She and her family went on a holiday cruise earlier in the year. There were photograph opportunities organised for families and guests on board. In no uncertain terms, she relayed how it was the worst photoshoot experience she had ever had, and without all the detail, she hadn’t enjoyed the experience and hated the results.

BUT my biggest concern was when she then said that the photographs ‘got inside my head’ and made her seriously doubt about how she looked. On their return, she went on a strict diet (because of how she felt) and did a family shoot at home using her phone and tripod. This was to re-assure herself that she didn’t look quite so bad.

Now I will often tell people, they may from time to time see images of themselves they’re not keen on, but it DOESN’T mean you can’t take a good one. This is to help them understand that often there are reasons and elements in a photograph that were outside their responsibility or control.

In a very early blog, I questioned the common saying ‘the camera never lies’. I still say this saying is not strictly true. Bear this in mind as you read…

Her story really troubled me and I found myself with all sorts of questions.

Did the shipping company use professional photographers?
How had they got the lights set?
Had they got the right angles for people?
Importantly, did the families and guests have an enjoyable experience?

Perhaps the photographers were rushed themselves if they had a lot of people to get through? However ‘conveyer belt’ photography is rarely going to achieve good results. If they were rushed, there was not going to be much opportunity for people to have a good experience.

From the information I was given the results of the images were far from flattering or accurate. However, whatever the photographers did or didn’t get right, it was how this particular lady was left feeling, when she stated – “the photos got inside my head”!

BUT as I mentioned earlier, it was the effect the results had on someones view of themselves.

Many people could see this as a reason to never want to be photographed again. While understandable, is perfectly avoidable.

So following on from last months blog, this is an interesting story of how we see ourselves in photographs. Perhaps it’s simply a knowledge thing, so ‘non photographers’ get some idea why some photographs are not particularly appealing.

Why do I bang on about the importance of lighting, angles and an enjoyable experience?

Because they are such important factors to achieving images you’ll love.

Have you ever had a similar experience?

There are other blogs you may find of interest on this subject:

Personal branding and being visible in your business
Social media, advertising and our self-esteem

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Don’t forget, the You Tube channel has tips for being photographed running up to Christmas available 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/@lPenny-Morgan-Photography

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NEWS – Watch this space!

With the new year just around the corner – I plan to merge Love Your Image with Penny Morgan Photography.
More news on this coming soon 🙂

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What do you think when you see yourself in an image?

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What do you think when you see yourself in an image?

Are you hyper critical?
Are your thoughts different compared to looking in the mirror?
Or are you accepting and feel good about what you see?

Does it matter? After all these are your thoughts, nobody else needs to know or hear about them… do they?

Had you ever considered your body listens to everything you think and say about yourself.

Yes that is a fact and well, why wouldn’t it, it is after all you.

It fills me with much encouragement and hope that society in general is opening up and discussing mental health. This got me thinking how important it is that we learn to cultivate a positive view on what we see in ourselves.

Ok, let’s start with looking in a mirror.

How often do you practise gratitude for the person you are and where you are in life? You height, your colouring (skin and hair), your size, your age… yes especially age! So what do you think when you see yourself in an image?

Sometimes we can find ourselves in ‘comparing’ mode with others.
Sometimes we think we have a good outlook towards self, and then be over critical when it comes to seeing ourselves in a photo!
How many of us have said “if only I could lose a bit of weight” – I know I have in the past!

So why? Where did we learn all that? What good did it do us?

Much can come from our childhood years and the values and expectations we learned from finding our place in society. Comparisons and judgement could have been placed on us by sibling, school peers, teachers, parents and people we love.

I grew up in an era when Twiggy rose to fame and to be stick thin was in fashion. Not a lot of fun for those of us who were born a completely different shape! This followed the era of soft and curvy from the 50’s. The objectification of women was considered quite normal. It took me many years to stop thinking I could be a different shape!

But attitudes and generations are changing thankfully! Comments that were once considered ok, are no longer acceptable in society.

Every size, shape, gender, colour and age should be equal and celebrated. How we see ourselves is very attached to the balance of our mental health. Again something that is today discussed more openly and vitally important for us to be aware of.

Again you may think, ‘is it really that important?’ Well yes, as I said earlier, our body listens to everything we say about it. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘self fulfilling prophecy’? If you are overly self critical, be careful what you say, think and wish for.

So a positive self image is important especially when times get tough.

Our lives can be full of things that come along to challenge us and our personal confidence. Life can be trundling along happily, when something major can turn it on its head in an instant. If we already have a lot of self doubt and self criticism going on, it’s going to make things even tougher.

Cultivating a positive self image is very important and can be helped by several small simple daily tasks that will cost you nothing.

Practising gratitude for everything in your life.
Look in the mirror and tell the person looking back how much you love and appreciate them.
Be grateful for the person you are, even when life gets tough.
Learning to recognise negative thoughts and stopping them in their tracks.

Learning to recognise and deal with doubt about ourselves early on can help prevent a downward spiral.

Going back to our question, what do you think when you see yourself in an image? The next time you find yourself being self critical, stop and think where it could lead. Even if it was the result of a wrong decision and you are giving yourself a hard time. Be kinder and just promise you will choose differently next time. Once you’ve learned to observe the thoughts you have, you can make sure there are plenty of positive ones are in there.

Yes, being kinder and patient with yourself is a very good thing.

If you’d like to discuss how you feel about being in photographs, the experience and what you see – a free review, with no obligation is available for you at any time – Your Free Review

You may want to dip into other blogs covering many different reasons why we might not like getting in front of a camera – here are a couple for you to consider:

What does your well being look like to you?
Comfort zones, control and confidence – what comes first?

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Don’t forget, there is a Love Your Image You Tube channel that gets regularly added to – subscribe to the channel and you can be part of the conversation – Love Your Image on You Tube

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Personal branding and being visible in your business.

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Personal branding and being visible in your business – what does it mean for you?

If you are considering using someones services or their products, what’s an initial thing you might do? Check them out – their website, their social media channels and Trust pilot are all things you might look for. You will quickly form an opinion according to what you find… or as importantly, what you don’t find. But you will form an opinion and it could influence your decision on whether to buy from, or work with who you are checking out.

Let’s turn this round to you and your potential clients who could be checking you out. First of all, that’s great, that’s exactly what you want them to do … and what will they find?

It’s is really important to get yourself visible for your audience, but what if you just don’t feel comfortable doing this?

Your brand encompasses a lot more than your logo.

You are very much part of your brand, the way you speak, your values, beliefs, why you do what you do and your personal visibility. It’s all part of what makes up your personal brand.

So here’s the thing, your potential clients want to know who you are, today, now, not an old inappropriate shot from some years back or on holiday. If you form an opinion of someone when you see these, they will do the same for you.

Becoming comfortable and at ease to do this is priority so you project the genuine you. Good clear headshots showing you as the friendly and approachable person you are is a great start.
Love Your Image offers a headshot session, specifically to help you find your confidence: Explore Your Image

But you can do so much more with it.

There is no getting away from it, that photographs and videos are an important part of establishing your brand. But you can ease yourself into it, taking one step at a time and find your feet.

Find your stories

Big, little, personal, business, using photographs and videos to tell them. It is very common that a personal post receives more engagement than a more regular business post, so your posts don’t always need to be business related. They don’t need to be your life story – many will relate to little snippets of what’s going on in your world.

I’ve been photographing Kim both personally and professionally since 2012.

Kim started out, all those years ago, not so comfortable being photographed, to now being a very prolific content creator.
She has many, many photos of herself, living, relaxing and working and can find the right image to go with the right post.

Personal and professional authentic shots of Kim

Kim working from home

Kim relaxing on a beach near her home

Kim relaxing at home

She still uses some of those photographs from years ago, to illustrate a relevant post, as well as many up to date ones from our last shoot in 2023:

Kim in touch with her online presence during a photoshoot

Kim presenting to her audience about social media

Kim’s website can be found here – Morr Marketing

How did we achieve this?

As the professional guiding, it’s important I establish a good rapport with you from the outset. Put you in a place where you can feel at ease and able to be yourself is paramount. I have to earn your trust. What better way, than to start with a cup of tea/coffee and find some mutual ground 🙂

It’s also important to discuss what you would like and what you are hoping to achieve. Finding the right photographer who is going to listen and guide you where they feel it’s necessary with creative ideas, or in areas that you’ve asked for their help and suggestions.

You don’t need to struggle!

Help is at hand and we can quite literally take it one step at a time, until you have conquered your fears and can be yourself in front of a camera.

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There are other blogs on similar subjects – I’ve included a couple for you:

Is video creation right for you?
The photographs got inside my head!

Comfort Zones, confidence and control – what comes first?

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What comes first to make a change or feel we are moving forward in our lives?

Comfort zones, confidence and control – what comes first? People who dislike getting in front of a camera and being photographed, often say they can’t imagine what it might be like to feel differently. For many it had’t even occurred to them this was something they could change. The turning points could be:

When it starts to impact something important to you.
When you realise it’s holding you back.
When you realise you don’t want to feel like that anymore.

So what happens first?

Do we just shut our eyes and step into the unknown, because what have we got to lose?
Do we need to find an element of confidence before we can step out of our comfort zone?
Do we need to have some control to take that step, in order for our confidence to grow?

Well yes, anyone of these things may be right for different people.

People feel out of control.

I’ve been hearing an increasing number of comments around the area of ‘control’ relating to getting in front of a camera. People feel out of control, or they have no control over the situation. This seems to be growing with our society’s use of phone cameras. More than that, an increased assumption in people that they can capture anybody anywhere without considering how individuals feel. Indeed, at a business event/networking meeting, you come to expect it will happen at some point.

You could be at a private gathering where you don’t necessarily know everyone.
You may not know where these images are going to end up.
You may feel even more uncomfortable asking to exclude yourself from the images.

You could feel trapped between a rock and a hard place.

Perhaps you have more control than you think.

So considering our subject of ‘comfort zones, confidence and control – what comes first’, perhaps you have more control than you think? You should always feel you are able to politely exclude yourself from images, without fear of judgement or complaint. Learning to deal with responses such as “oh you’ll be fine” or “well I want to capture everyone here”, is both achievable and empowering.

Learning how to position yourself and importantly, what to focus on when in such a situation will also put you much more at ease.

If working with a professional, it is they who should help you feel in control. This will likely make you feel happier and more at ease, achieving a positive effect on the results.

I want to change how I feel.

If like me, you may be a bit stubborn and prefer to discover everything for yourself! However, learning interesting facts and information that provide me with lightbulb moments for change or improvement – is empowering! It’s something I’ve achieved in myself and observed in others.

When you’ve made a decision for change, non judgemental guidance can make so much difference. Not to do the challenge for you – but to provide step by step insights and help you see a different perspective. Provide encouragement and belief in yourself. Your journey is not their journey, but they will be there to help you achieve your goals.

Interestingly, some of the things mentioned in this blog, I did mention in an earlier one, written and published two years ago and you could find a helpful read – I had to step outside my comfort zone

So you receive more blogs like these, make sure you sign up to the mailing list on – Love Your Image

Secondly, you can sign up for a free consultation and review what your options could be – Review Your Image

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All systems are moving forward with the planned online courses – 🙂 – news out soon.

Don’t forget to visit our You Tube channel to find useful tips and recorded conversations – Love Your Image You Tube channel.

Is video creation right for you?

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‘Let’s all create videos and be seen.’

‘Let’s all create videos and be seen’. But how do you know if video creation is right for you and how do you get started? Others are better placed than I to advise on whether video creation is best for you and your business, but I do know how to help you get started. However, in my opinion it’s one of the best ways to show the real you and that alone makes what you do unique… because we are all different. Even if you offer something similar to another, the way you offer it will make it different. Consider the mindset of your viewers (and potential clients) and why they would want to use you and buy your products, or use your services.

To those who have never attempted any videos, the thought of chatting for 2 minutes or longer can be a daunting prospect. Others seem to do it with ease and how can you live up to that?! I’ve even heard some say that it reminds them of drama classes at school that they hated.

The good news is, there isn’t one single way that’s best.

It’s finding the way that is achievable for you and from there you will grow. That can be a very different experience from school, PLUS, you already have a vested interest!

Reels, videos, shorts, tiktok, vlogs … these are all names given to video creation of different lengths and a variety of platforms, that’s all. It might appear confusing, but really it’s not. Again, finding the platform and style that is right for you is the way to go. We really don’t need to be pressured into doing anything we don’t want to or feel uncomfortable … until we’re ready.

Nearly six years ago I created a list of nine top tips – they still hold good today. If you’re reading this and haven’t seen them, you can get them by signing up to my mailing list. You can also find them as individual video clips on my You Tube channel – links below.

Love Your Image You Tube channel

Photograph of Penny about to create a video

Introductory video on You Tube.

What about that daunting thought of talking to camera for any length of time

This thought alone, is probably why many don’t even think of getting started. But with anything new to learn – this is not a competition with others – this is your journey. Your starting point could be another persons achieving point, or vice versa. Starting with things you can achieve and progressing at a pace you can manage and be happy with is the way forward to succeed. The story of the ‘The Tortoise and the Hare’ comes to mind 🙂

For all those videos you see out there online, stop and imagine for a minute… there are as many that never made the cut and the creator gave up!

You don’t have to be in business to share a video.

For example, I mentioned I have a You Tube channel that I’m gradually building and adding with clips to help all those who don’t like getting in front of the camera. However, I have some personal projects that I plan to share – one of them is already on facebook – Feeding the hedgehogs

These would be things that I have a great interest in outside of work, such as my love of wildlife and there will be other interests too. So you get to know a bit about the person as well as their work.

This I recommend to do before you start creating videos!

I hadn’t planned to go over the tips in this blog, however I can’t stress enough the benefits of number 1 – Purpose.
Why? Well I’ve seen too many videos that perhaps don’t show someone talking about their business in the best light (excuse the pun). For no other reason that it wasn’t thought through sufficiently – so plan your strategy, you will thank yourself.

Most of your viewers will be very supportive of your content and the information you generously share. However as with all things in life, you don’t have control over what others think, say or do. What you do have authority over is what you put out there – so make sure it makes sense and has value for those you wish to attract. You want them to switch on and not switch off!

Online courses for 2024.

I’m planning online courses for 2024 and that will include help with video creation. There will be plenty of notice about what’s coming, so please do stay in touch, should this will be of benefit to you.

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What’s really going on in a photograph – Part 2

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Have you ever had your photograph de-constructed?

Well why would you… unless you don’t like what you see?

What’s really going on in a photograph? Last year I wrote a blog on this subject to deconstruct what brings a photograph together. This broke down the various elements to explain why we don’t see beyond what’s directly in front of us. This is particularly relevant if you don’t like getting in front of a camera and think a poor result is all your fault.

If you haven’t already read it, I’m sharing a link to that blog again:

What’s really going on in a photograph?

It’s all about a good conversation.

Recent conversations brought last years observations to mind and worthy of adding another angle on the subject (pun intended). An image is essentially the result of a conversation, or communication between two parties. The success of the photo/s depends on the quality of that connection. Both sides of the conversation would like a good outcome that shows in the results, for their own agendas. But they both have to give the other something to achieve that.

Let’s assume for a moment that the technical side is all good and ok when capturing the image.

However, there still needs a good rapport going in order to get the engagement and guarantee great results. As in a normal conversation, if one always dominates and doesn’t consider or understand the others needs or point of view then the connection may not achieve the results you’d hope for.

Equate this to taking a photograph:

Person being photographed:

Do you feel comfortable with the photographer?
Do they talk you through the process and put you at ease?
Do they give you confidence, that enables you to trust you’ll get good results?
Do you feel out of control?

Photographer:

How closely do you observe your subject?
Do you know what you’re looking for and how to get it?
Do you start a conversation and keep it going?
Are you able to recognise if your subject is feeling anxious?

Let’s add another consideration…

This is not a professional shoot and someone has their phone camera out. This is traditionally where any conversation ends. There is also unlikely to be any guidance on the assumption you know how to stand/sit/smile. The photographer is intent on looking at their phone and before you know it… the photograph is taken. You are left with no idea how that image looks and perhaps a feeling of apprehension of its result. The photographer doesn’t see this through the same eyes as you.

If you express your feelings of “do we have to do this?” – it can be met with “you’ll be fine – don’t worry about it”.

So, you can now understand a bit more of what really goes on in a photograph, whether you are being captured, or, you are the one taking the photograph. If you want great results, start with great engagement with those you have in your camera site 🙂

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The YouTube channel continues to have things added to it. There will be another series of top tips soon, leading up to the Christmas period to help you when the cameras are out – Love Your Image on You Tube

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Buying into a ‘look’ and know what’s really going on.

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Do you buy into a particular fashion trend?

When I say ‘fashion’, I’m including clothes, shoes, makeup and now cosmetic enhancements – do you buy into the current ‘look’ and know what’s really going on.

Some of my blogs may start off and appear not to have much to do with photography. But over the last 19 months of writing, there is always a vital and relevant connection. They are always on a subject that affects how people feel in front of a camera or what they see in an image. This could be a direct attachment to a subject, or a general underlying influence that has affected you over a period of time.

This one is mainly based on our attitude to following fashions and why we do it in relation to how we see and feel about ourselves.

Clothes:

Now I love clothes and make-up as much as anyone and have probably adopted different styles over the years. But my attitude has changed also… for the better (I consider) I’m glad to add. Once, I would try something on and be disappointed in the result, because my basic self-esteem on how I looked was not the greatest. Yes, I would see a fashion or trend and try to replicate that look. What I saw in a picture was what I thought I wanted to be like and how I wanted others to see me… whether it suited me or not!

Valuable guidance

Working as a photographer, I frequently get asked for advice on what to wear for a shoot. I give them a few tips, but also recommend they consider the services of a stylist. Such a person can help them with what colours and styles suit them, whatever age, shape and size they are at. Many will also help you make the best use of your existing wardrobe, rather than buying new.

Below, I’ve shared a video interview with Shirley Webb, who is a colour and clothes stylist.

Fortunately, I’ve never been a ‘label’ follower. Yes, I look for decent quality clothes, but not highly priced, recognised branded items. There is nothing wrong in these items if you really love it, looks good on you and you can afford. But there are those who will buy into this, regardless of its cost and whether they can afford it, simply because of it’s name. Many believe they will be judged positively because of what they are wearing, believing it creates a sense of where they sit in society.

Makeup:

Once I would never go out, or go to work without some on. Why? Because I didn’t want people to see the real me. I had been conditioned in my younger years to think that the ‘look’ of makeup was expected and I’d be judged by not ‘looking my best’. But not so influenced to remember my grandmother suggesting my own mother should wear a little more. My mum never did wear a great deal, she was busy bringing up five children, so her priorities were elsewhere.

So my use of make-up has now vastly reduced. I can happily go out with or without makeup and confident in how I look. So I wear it when it suits me now and enjoy the look of both.

Cosmetic enhancements:

This one I question the most, however for many is a regular expenditure:

Botox
Lip augmentation
Facelift
Eyelid lift
Forehead lift
Rhinoplasty
Plastic Surgery
Breast augmentation
Liposuction

I’ve never had any of these as I don’t consider I need them. However, having never experienced any, will try and stay balanced in my opinions, as once upon a time a younger me may have felt differently.

Yes, I can completely see why some might be helpful and favourable in certain circumstances. They have perhaps been born, or experienced changes to their appearance through accident or disfigurement. This can already have led to a lifetime of challenges with bullying or judgement.

I also empathise with those who’ve already bought into this option for whatever reason they felt it necessary.

Fashions change!

Of course they do and will always continue to do so through time. Why does this happen? Well yes, we all need to buy clothes for practical reasons but would also want to look good in them… nothing wrong in that. From my own observations it’s driven by the big corporates who sell us ‘fashion’ and our insatiable want to carve an identity in how we look. One feeds the other.

Therefore, if you’ve bought into permanent cosmetic enhancements to be part of a particular look or style – what happens when that fashion changes? Our skin is our largest organ and serves many purposes. It’s not there just as an aesthetic covering.

How I want others to see me

I don’t know when I became aware that this life is not a competition – it’s really not.
Or, looking for approval from others in how I look in order to fit in – is not needed.
Or, perhaps it was when I introduced the idea to myself that I’m exactly as I should be just as I am.
Or, I stopped criticising myself and wanting to change things.

I choose to buy into MY own look and continue to nurture that thought that I am enough.

This leads me onto that word ‘perfect’.

When we apply it to ourselves, does the word ‘perfect’ get taken out of context?

If we can agree that we are all different and unique in our own ways, why do we consider ourselves as having ‘imperfections’?

Who has the authority to say a particular size, shape… or ‘look’ is what we should be aiming for to be a ‘somebody’?

If it makes us individually feel better to make a change in ourselves then we do it for us and not for others. Why should we entertain others judging us on our size or looks?

When we start to consider and embrace that we are already perfect, you can start to like and love what you see to a level you never thought possible.

Yes that might seem like a goal many of us couldn’t achieve. But, what have you got to lose by trying? Is buying into a particular look because you compare yourself to others, the best reason?

Being photographed and viewing images of ourselves, simply underlines and exposes that view we have of self.

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